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What a week, sort of [Mar. 16th, 2007|01:57 pm]
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Like I said before, California was a blast, as always. Even if things aren't too cracked up, I still have a good time. lol

I loved finding out Tampa International had free wireless access. LOL Anyway...

Friday, after I was picked up by Rachell's girlfriend Novim from the airport, and after Rachell got home from work, we all went out hiking. We must've been walking for a few hours or so. Afterwards we went to the "Great Mall". It's pretty big, but I'm not sure it's comparable to Sawgrass Mills in Fort Lauderdale in terms of size. Bigger than most malls, though.

Saturday, we sort of went hiking again. We went an hour south from San Jose to Carmel, to go to the 'beach' within a nature reserve. It was so beautiful out there, I took a couple pictures of the scenery. The beaches are much more scenic on the Pacific coast in general compared to the Atlantic side. Later that day, I went to a new LUSH store that opened in Santa Clara. :) I swore I was just going in to look... ehhh, didn't happen, haha. After that, we went to go see '300'. I thought the movie was better than I thought it would be, but I just wished the ending had been different. lol

Sunday, I went to go visit my buddy Dave. I originally met him here in Clearwater back in the summer of '03, but he was down here on business at that point. His residence was in Maryland then. Somewhat recently he moved out to the San Jose area, and I hadn't seen him since '03, so I had someone else to visit while in the area. We didn't do much, just watched "You, Me and Dupree" (I actually saw the first half this time, as I'd only seen the second half before) and I guess had a good time. lol Didn't really do much other than that on Sunday. Got some food and met up with Rachell and her g/f after a hockey game Novim was playing in the downtown area.

Monday, I spent the day in San Francisco. I finally got to ride my first train(s)! :) I took a bus to the Caltrain station, and rode for an hour to SF. I didn't have much cash left to spare after paying for round-trip bus/train fare to pay for transit within SF, so I just walked. It took me an hour to walk from the station to Japantown there. I had fairly straightforward directions to get there, so I was alright. I ate sushi and udon, went walking around the three connected buildings full of shops, took a few pictures, and went back to San Jose. There were some loose stores scattered around those buildings, but I already purchased things I shouldn't have charged, so I was like "Fuck it, maybe next time". Next time I'll also go to the San Jose Japantown, there's one store I like there that has nice knick-knacks, books, yukatas, and kimonos. The SJ Japantown is arguably a lot smaller than the SF one. I also need to explore more of SF the next time around.

After I arrived back in the area, I took the light rail to Rachell's. My phone had died just as I was getting onto the light rail, so I couldn't confirm where she was. I got off a couple stops too early from her place, so I did quite a bit of walking, but I managed to find my way to her place. She wasn't there, nor any roommates or her landlady. So I got back onto the light rail to downtown, and went to her g/f's parents, knowing they'd at least be home. They were, so I went onto Novim's PC, hoping to find either of their #'s stored on it, lol. I never thought of asking her mom for her #, because it'd been off all day so I figured it would be fruitless getting the #. But I found both numbers, and Rachell's phone had evidently died. I tried calling Novim again, and to my relief she answered. She told me Rachell's phone died, and her car also died somewhere, but that she would be coming home and picking me up. She left her car at home while at college, so she had to come back anyway. I was so relieved. I was anxious because I was supposed to go watch her play another hockey game. Rachell ended up meeting us there (late), with a "new" car her dad had gotten from someone he knew, I guess.

There were a few people I talked to while on mass transit that I had interesting conversations with, and other than that and what I said above, I won't go into any more detail (not like it matters haha, some things are better left unsaid anyway)... but I had a good time compared to my visit last year. Last year wasn't bad, I still managed to have a decent time, but this year was a lot better. :)

A few weeks ago, or so, my mom found out (through wind from a higher-up co-worker) that BCBS was going to do company-wide layoffs in it's Medicare division. Luckily (for her and her office at least), the only layoffs were done at their corporate HQ in South Carolina.

I guess their office had a meeting today, and I think she said it was a corporate guy leading the meeting..? Anyway, one of her co-workers stood up and asked "Since no one else has the nerve to ask, I will: Are you planning on closing our office?" He said, "We'll let you know in a month." The thing is, they said "We'll let you know", which means it's a 50/50 chance, not 100%. But the woman who had stood up put in her two week notice. With this scare and the last scare, employees have been quitting at a scary pace, for something that isn't certain to happen. It could, but also couldn't happen. They've had a hiring freeze for 1 or 2 years now, so when somebody quits, they don't hire anyone else. What they do is shove those former employee's workloads onto those remaining. My mom isn't the type to jump the gun in situations like this, she sticks it out until she knows for sure. Whether that's a good trait to have or not, I'm not sure.

I'm scared, though. My mom is a tough cookie, this would probably hurt her financially just for a little while... but likely there's a good possibility she'd have to hold two jobs again (she finally went down to just one around the time I moved to WPB). Selfishly for me, it sucks that this may happen to her, because she was going to pay for my car's paint job next month... but obviously that will go on the back burner if they close her office. She also has been helping me pay my bills since January, especially, because at this new store I'm not getting the hours I'm used to getting, despite my repeated requests for more hours. Hopefully the new department manager I'm getting will be more helpful about that.

I was talking to my ex about this earlier today, and he was saying that I should stem my turns with Olivia for a while, only so I could get a second job (like I've been wanting to but was going to put off until the end of summer) to help my mom out if it comes to her office being closed. I dunno... I'm just hoping this turns out to be only a scare, but with employees running for the hills and no new hires, yeah, probably will end up being wishful thinking. *pulls hair out*

From: krplt
2007-03-16 09:20 pm (UTC)


First off, I am glad your trip went better this time... now pay very close attention... DO NOT PAINT THE CAR! Yes a new paint job will help it look nicer, but in order to achieve a paint job that will last in this Florida heat you will need to spend at least 3 or 4 thousand dollars... the Maaco specials for cheap is exactly that... cheap... and the paint job will look like it has been repainted... personally you might achieve better results spray painting the damn thing... the trick to painting a car is first off how good of a paint they use... good paint equals big bucks... but that's not where the majority of the cost lies... in order to achieve "factory" finish... you need several layers of clear coat which cost a lot of money... so it will cost literally thousands to paint a car you got for free... think of what you could do with thousands... look at my car... I have debated about painting it... but in the end I will drive it till it dies... and then spend the money I have saved towards a new car... one that doesn't need painting... now let's go back a bit... supposing you did paint the car anyway... then you will have to have it washed weekly to clean off the dirt an oils that will deteriorate the cars new finish... and if you got the cheap paint job... you will know because cracking and peeling will begin to happen... now if you spent money on the good paint job, the color may last... but you will still need to wash the car weekly and this is the most important part... you will also have to have the car waxed at least once a month or so... the wax will protect the cars finish and prevent chemicals from eating away at the finish... so in the end painting the car will cost more up front, and cost more in the long run by having to wash and wax it so often... now another thing... black... is one of the most difficult colors to paint... next to red... they are the two most difficult colors to paint without looking like they have been repainted... most often you get the "rippling" effect where you can see waves and ripples...
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From: krplt
2007-03-16 09:21 pm (UTC)
so like I said "DO NOT PAINT THE CAR" put that money into savings... so when you really need the money it will be there for you in case of emergencies... moving home is supposed to give you a chance to move forward... meaning you need to put your needs and wants aside and focus on your mother and Olivia... don't be like before and drain your mother... yeah... she was able to live off of one job after you left... please keep her that way... meaning that if you can't get your hours you better look for a job that will give you the hours you need to support yourself, because your mother will not always be there to take care of you... and give you a safe place to land... you don't want to end up like your dad... living off of welfare and the state... I have nothing personal against your father, but I feel that given the chance everyone should work... whether it be at McDonald's or pumping gas or something... what most lack is the desire to work or the desire to better one's self... a lot of people play the pity game... oh poor me... I can't find a job no one will hire me... they need to get there act together and be a fucking man...! There is no excuse for lazy ass people in this world... to survive you must be tough and make sacrifices... you think I like waking up 3 am every day feeling like the world is crushing upon my shoulders like there is no end in sight... ? But then I see her face and I realize why I get up at 3 am... why I put up with my managers, why I have no personal life... I do it because not only is it my responsibility but because she is worth it... I will tell you the other day I had some ethical dilemmas at work... I basically came to the realization that in order to do my job I must be two faced and learn the art of trickery... I had a breakdown and got into a huge argument with him... telling him I didn't believe I was capable of being that way... I went on further detailing that how a man leads his life is also how he does his work... well, I kept thinking about it and later that day as I walked to my car... it hit me... I will do anything for my daughter or ones I truly love... anything... and this was not new to me... I already knew this... but had just forgotten in the hayday... anything entails this... I will steal if I have to... I will cheat if I have too... I will kill if I have to... I will go and spend an eternity in hell if need be... to get her on the right path to where she belongs... yeah that all sounds so harsh... but the reality is I "walk the line" and keep my nose to the grindstone and push forward... so that I don't have to do any of those things... because in the end... I know the difference between right and wrong... and what is honest and dishonest... and given the choice I will pick the right path... so that not only can I provide for her, but also be a role model... for whom she can base her own thoughts and ideas on... whew... I am tired and just rambling now... so if you get anything out of this..."DON'T PAINT THE CAR"
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[User Picture]From: shinwachou
2007-03-17 02:34 am (UTC)
Dude, I never ASKED my mom to pay for a paint job. She *offered*.

And what makes you think I will quit Publix? No Publix = no insurance = big medical bills while I'm doing my dental and acne therapies.

And stop saying I'll end up like my dad. You obviously never knew me too well to know I would never let myself get like that. Second, he keeps saying he wants to get a job. He probably won't, but I at least think it's admirable he even says that.

And I will never be two-faced. Fuck that. I'm not playing games.
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[User Picture]From: shinwachou
2007-03-17 02:40 am (UTC)
Fuck this. I thought we were getting along better now, but we aren't. I admit, I'm a fool.

But I can't take talking to you. All you do is bring me down. Even if it's not about me, the way you look at things depresses me and drains me of any hope I have/had. It's possible to be idealistic and realistic, you know. Doesn't make a person naive.

I value what you said about the truth behind paint jobs, so I'm not going to do it. I do listen, you know. It's not always apparent right away, but I do listen.

I'm just tired of... people.

It's people like you who make me not want help from anyone. I felt ashamed for asking you to help with *one* month's phone payment. I feel like a worthless person when I have to ask my mom for help. I HATE ASKING FOR HELP. Because of people like you who say shit like "You drain your mom's money". I hate feeling this way, it's bullshit.
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[User Picture]From: shinwachou
2007-03-17 02:53 am (UTC)
Also stop trying to be Super Dad! YOU WONDER WHY YOU BROKE DOWN? That's why! Stop bitching about having no free time when there's something you could do about it. Sure the free time per week may hardly amount to anything, but it's something! There's no balance in your life.
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