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Long entry... many topics, sorry. [Apr. 16th, 2006|02:56 am]
California was interesting. One thing I will say, is that amazingly I remembered my way around the area rather well, considering I only lived there for a few months back in 2003. Although it was an interesting and crazy week, and I miss(ed) the area... I was kinda happy to go home. I'll leave it at that, for now.

Apparently our dog Lilly ran away while I was in California. Hsiaokwai took her to his parents while he went to Orlando with Olivia (while i'm couch-hopping x_x), and the second she was allowed to roam free, she bolted, I guess. Supposedly they searched for her, but I don't think they searched that hard. I think she was microchipped, and no one even looked at the animal shelters for her. When I got back, he "surprised" me with a Papillon puppy... while she's cute, I still often think of Lilly and how she doesn't deserve wherever she's probably at, if she's not dead. She was annoying at times, but in the end, I was the only one who'd give her a chance.

A couple weeks after, I had a friend come into town, and I was pretty much blown off after the first couple of days. Let's say I took days off that in hindsight I shouldn't have bothered asking for. (A chief complaint of hers was that she was here on vacation and didn't want to be at my apartment for long lengths of time, but was perfectly content with staying all day at her male friend's place... Anyway.)

Not too long after that, Hsiaokwai decided he was going to play hooky from work, and for me to take his car to the college. Well, at that point I was driving on a suspended license. I went on I-95 north, and had just gotten onto the off-ramp about to approach a red light. I was going roughly 10-15 mph, and swore I was hitting my brakes, thinking "OK I'm hitting my brakes, why isn't the car stopping?". Well, needless to say, I was hitting the floorboard. I hit a girl ahead of me, a fender bender. She got out, wrote down the license plate info, and it turned out we went to the same campus so we pulled in there.

She called the cops. Who fucking calls 911 for a fender bender? You can't tell I hit her car! Then she had the audacity to hand ME the phone. Uh, you dialed, not me. She claimed "Oh my neck and back hurt". Christ, I totaled a car at 40 mph, and the only pain I had was from the airbag hitting my face, causing my nose to swell a bit. Of course, in both instances, it's always the other driver who isn't wearing a fucking seatbelt.

I got two tickets, one for "careless driving" (the cop explained it just really meant 'fender bender' or whatever, but whatever...), and another for driving on a suspended license. I played it off, acting like I didn't know so I didn't embarrass myself. The ironic thing is 4 hours later I had an appointment to reinstate my license. Heh. Oh, I got it... but still.

But if his insurance doesn't pay her for the bullshit she's claiming, she's going to sue him. The funny thing is, although I never saw her once before this, I see her in the mornings.. walking just fine, no neck braces or anything. What a god damned liar.

Myspace is a funny site. I only use it when I get e-mail notifications, but somehow everyone from my past finds me, when I find it nearly impossible to find anyone. Heh.

Usually when I get comments about Olivia, I'm told often that she looks like me... but an Asian (Thai?) lady in my store's seafood department came up to me (while shopping as a regular customer) that Olivia looked "half-Chinese". That put a huge smile on my face, lol. I said "Yes, she is". At first she looked at me funny, like "What Chinese is there in you?", but quickly realized "Ohh the father?", and I nodded. hehe :)

It seems like, despite working for the past 6 months, that my debt will never get paid down. Getting all four of my wisdom teeth yanked out next month ($1500 w/my dental discount plan) won't help that situation any. It won't be until after I visit my mom in early May... I'll be taking days off from work to visit her, then work a couple days or so, then take another 3 days or so off for my oral surgery and recovery. :( Seems like I'll only be making minimum payments for a while on my credit cards. x_x

It seems when I make an effort to spend time with people (there's a couple people i'm finally trying to socialize with), I get blown off. Their excuses may be legit, or not, but either way it makes me feel crappy and as if i'm not good enough to be around. I don't know.

I'm uncertain about if I really should be in college right now, or ever... where I want my life to go. For a long while now, I thought I did know... sometimes I'd entertain other options, but usually went back to one specific ideal goal. But I can't stop questioning things, can't stop being indecisive. Nobody likes an indecisive (or a heavily procrastinating, lazy) person. For instance, I thought I could handle 3 (or more) classes, 25-30 hrs a week at work, and a baby... but being the aforementioned person I am, I can't. Not like many other people can. And besides my inability to handle this workload, I constantly flip back and forth whether I should entirely discard the idea of school and work, and be a SAHM; it's just hard to find the balance I (think I) know I want.

[User Picture]From: doroshii
2006-04-16 07:54 am (UTC)
well I am glad you are ok! someone rear-ended me last month while I was sitting at a red light and now the ins. co. is wanting to declare my car totalled and only give me like $1ooo ;-;

"I only use it when I get e-mail notifications, but somehow everyone from my past finds me"

same here...it's creepy O.o
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From: lin_bai_mao
2006-04-16 04:22 pm (UTC)
I understand about the work load. I am wondering if I can even do full time classes and cook and clean and everything else that goes on next fall!! I will hopefully be quitting my job, but if I don't I think it'll be too much. I don't know how people can go to school/work/and do home life all at once. Chris does it. It's crazy.
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