||[Feb. 28th, 2005|06:20 pm]
I love my boyfriend. I put him through too much.|
I'm trying to exclusively breastfeed my daughter, but since her birth, I've allowed him to feed her a bottle (of my own milk) at night (so I can sleep more). Sometimes he adds an ounce or so of formula if I don't have enough pumped milk at the moment.
I don't mind that he gives her that one bottle, but I get depressed if he gives her more than that. I don't want her to start liking bottles, and invariably causing the demise of our breastfeeding relationship. I'm hoping to make it until at least a year.
She'll be going through several growth spurts in the first year alone, and I think one is just around the corner. When this happens, I think babies tend to cluster feed (several times in the span of a few hours -- instead of once or so every 1-3 hours), and while I *love* feeding her, it just gets a little frustrating when she feeds so much consecutively. I know as she gets older, she won't feed so often, but still.
I cried when he gave her a bottle during the day today, and he said "I'll stop giving her a bottle if you want me to". Of course I felt bad, but then again, I feel bad about anything. He did mention that it's okay if the milk doesn't come directly from my breast (meaning my own milk fed to her in a bottle), but exclusively pumping is a BITCH. He knows I fear getting into a vicious cycle of pumping/bottle-feeding and not actually breastfeeding.
Just breathe... take one day at a time../
I love him so much (even when his life revolves around sex). =P