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People always tell me to not worry so much about what others think of… - 神話蝶 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
桜井香津美

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[Aug. 7th, 2006|07:19 pm]
桜井香津美
People always tell me to not worry so much about what others think of me. But it's not easy.

It's not just one, or a few people, it's several people who are having or have had issues with me. And because of my personality, it's been hard to form and keep any kind of relationship with anyone.

My coping mechanism for situations like this are to block it out, but I eventually get to a point where I can't anymore, and try to deal with it instead. But when I try to deal with it, the situation usually blows up in my face.

I've been in Alabama since Saturday, and until last night, it seemed like I was having a relaxing time. I had finally ceased stressing, at least temporarily (until I leave here). But today, the stress has come back. Not because of Chris or Pamela, but others and other things that I had already been stressing over before.

Although I've begun thinking i'm annoying her. We haven't gotten into an argument or fight, or anything like that. But we've had a few small disagreements, while we were totally civil and still friends, I've felt like i'm annoying her somehow. Earlier, when we went to the movies, I felt bad for choosing a movie she didn't like. I also felt bad for not bringing my wallet, and automatically assuming she'd pay. I guess that I still can't stop assuming, even though I *know* assuming usually equals bad results.

Oi, when will I ever get things right?
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Comments:
From: lin_bai_mao
2006-08-08 03:40 am (UTC)
I've acuttally been worried since last night because I could tell something was bothering you, but you never said anything. (i worry much)

Oh I was going to pay for you at the movies, so it's no big deal. I asked because you said the other day you don't like others to pay for somethings -- so I asked, but you're our guest and my friend, so i have no problems. remember! I planned for this!! :-)

LOL. The movie was fine. I was bitching because I got mad that people thought the "super girlfriend" was a nut job. I totally would have thrown a shark at my boyfriend if he was lying to me and I knew it and he said he wasn't. I mean, it's just wrong. LOL!!!!! But I usually go for sci-fi movies these days.. just because I'm crazy like that. It's fun for a change up because chris would never watch those kinda movies with me, while I can still enjoy them, he's not so easy to please. :-P PS- I love chick flixs, even if I do get mad during the movie. (i'm so dramatic) We can go raid the video store this week. You just say when.

Ah, but I won't lie. I was annoyed before dinner because I felt you were upset somehow & I didn't know why-- but when we talked during dinner, I felt a lot better. You said other stuff started bothering you not dealing with here, and I was ok with that -- but now it's time to talk girl!! ;-)
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