||[Aug. 7th, 2006|07:19 pm]
People always tell me to not worry so much about what others think of me. But it's not easy.|
It's not just one, or a few people, it's several people who are having or have had issues with me. And because of my personality, it's been hard to form and keep any kind of relationship with anyone.
My coping mechanism for situations like this are to block it out, but I eventually get to a point where I can't anymore, and try to deal with it instead. But when I try to deal with it, the situation usually blows up in my face.
I've been in Alabama since Saturday, and until last night, it seemed like I was having a relaxing time. I had finally ceased stressing, at least temporarily (until I leave here). But today, the stress has come back. Not because of Chris or Pamela, but others and other things that I had already been stressing over before.
Although I've begun thinking i'm annoying her. We haven't gotten into an argument or fight, or anything like that. But we've had a few small disagreements, while we were totally civil and still friends, I've felt like i'm annoying her somehow. Earlier, when we went to the movies, I felt bad for choosing a movie she didn't like. I also felt bad for not bringing my wallet, and automatically assuming she'd pay. I guess that I still can't stop assuming, even though I *know* assuming usually equals bad results.
Oi, when will I ever get things right?