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桜井香津美

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Panic Attacks [Apr. 17th, 2006|03:00 am]
桜井香津美
[Current Mood |scaredscared]

Lately, I've found myself having more panic attacks; I haven't had them in the frequency I have been since I was very young.

Tonight, I finally went to bed around... oh... 20 minutes ago, roughly. I started having a panic attack. I'm sure my blood pressure skyrockets, and I start *majorly* freaking out, barely resisting the urge to run around screaming (like I did once around 8 or 9, that I recall).

When I get like this, I really need someone's love, and for them to hold me tight. But sometimes that doesn't even seem enough.

My theory for why people believe in God is that they've been provided somewhere to "go" after physical death... Those people probably don't fear death like I do (nowhere near the way I do) because of that. Now, these incidences aren't likely to steer me towards religion, to shake these episodes, but still, it's an interesting POV.
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Comments:
From: lin_bai_mao
2006-04-17 07:11 am (UTC)
I had them a lot last year, and I get them on and off as things around me change. I guess I'm just one big ball of panic, but I understand how you want someone to love you when the 'episodes' happen. I get the same feeling. You just want to know that you're ok and you want to hear it from another.

I always have believed in God, but having them actually built my faith more. I'm not casting a religious talk to you, it's your choice and I respect you for your decision. I'm just saying, my faith in God has helped me through some very, very hard times, and for some reason, to me, life seems better than before. I can't explain it. But God's something I can't explain either. I just believe in him, and I don't think that's a bad thing. But don't ever think questioning is a bad thing.


* Chris said he was chatting with you last night!! I bet he was asking for you to come again. We really want to see you. LOL. hugs and loves to you.
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[User Picture]From: shinwachou
2006-04-17 12:03 pm (UTC)
The thing is, there's nothing really out of the ordinary (change-wise) lately. Sure, the spring semester is beginning to draw to a close... but I don't think it's a big deal. Maybe it's because summer is approaching, I don't know. One would think these episodes would be more common during fall/winter months, but for me oddly enough, my panic attacks occur more frequently during the summer.

I'm sure you know I wasn't knocking your faith or anyone else's... but every now and then, I give the concept of God(s) and religion some entertained thought, and why I (personally!) can never believe in it (except maybe an abstract concept of spirits and Gaia/universe blahblahblah). My remarks above arose from one of these "entertained thoughts". Seriously, that is my personal POV why people choose to believe in such beings... but naturally, to each their own, so long as no one forces me to also. :) *huggles!!* But then again, I question many more things than just that. ;P

Yeah, he was. He always surprises me when I IM you, because I never expect him to be there, even if he has before. You guys want to see me?? That much, to bug me every time about it? LOL ;) T_T Maybe I can... I'm thinking maybe sometime in July or August? Just let me know, so I can make plans.
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From: lin_bai_mao
2006-04-17 01:03 pm (UTC)
No, no. It's ok. I question the existance of God and why we're here.. that type of thing too. I think we would be foolish not to question, but faith is faith and even through questioning you find your answer. Whatever your answer may be.

Yes! We do want to see you. July would be great and August not so great. :-D

I don't think anytime is a more understandable time for panic attacks. I usually get them at this time of year because of everything going on. You've got taxes and finals and other things that pile on. Anxiety attacks happen when you least expect it. Take it to understanding that it's your body's way of telling you that you're stressed, or upset about something and you need to take action, either relaxing or stop doing whatever it is that causes it. It's scarey, but know that I'm here to talk to if you ever need help. Panic attacks happen and it isn't abnormal. Just keep that in mind.
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[User Picture]From: shinwachou
2006-04-20 01:20 pm (UTC)
Oh, I saying that I more often than not have more panic attacks during the summer months, not that I don't get them any other time. I'm not sure why they're more common during this time, they just are.

I get these attacks whether i'm stressed or not... they just happen. They don't really need any reason to happen, for me. Just sometimes i'll realize (again and again) that one day i'll cease existing and it scares the fucking crap out of me. =\
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[User Picture]From: nebulosity
2006-04-17 07:31 am (UTC)
*huggles* Cherie loves the 'Nessa!
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[User Picture]From: shinwachou
2006-04-17 11:47 am (UTC)
LOL You have no idea at all how ironic your user icon is... one of the sources for my panic attacks, among others, is outer space. ;p

*hugs* We should talk on the phone again sometime soon.
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[User Picture]From: nebulosity
2006-04-18 10:44 am (UTC)
we should! My new phone number is 8018607411. You can call me on weekends. I don't think it costs anything. I do work at 4pm both days though, so call in the morning. =D I may not be able to talk long, but I would like to hear from you again soon! I would call you, but I lost my old phone in another city. =D
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[User Picture]From: crysalis
2006-04-17 11:07 am (UTC)
Aww... *hugs* I know where you're coming from though... I get panic attacks from time to time and they SUCK and are so scary! :(

I hope you feel better soon. If you need to talk, you know where to find me! <3
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[User Picture]From: shinwachou
2006-04-17 11:55 am (UTC)
I know i'm not the only one to ever have a panic attack, but being the sometimes naive person I am, didn't really realize that others may have them concerning death and existence.

My having these panic attacks over death and existence is mostly what fuels my firm belief that life is too short to worry about being the best dressed person on the block, what people do in their bedrooms (or who they sleep with), et cetera. That's about the only good "thing" to come out of these episodes.

*hugs* Thanks... it truly means a lot, Linzy. :-* (^_~)
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[User Picture]From: comatosedreamer
2006-04-19 12:52 pm (UTC)
Fear of death is caused by the belief that you are living only this life, and that once you die, your life and its actions are meaningless.

People escape the fear of death in a variety of ways.

1. Religion - if there is an afterlife, especially one where you can be rewarded for good deeds, then your life's deeds have meaning.

2. Lasting Impression - people who create great works are not afraid of death. They know they have accomplished what they set out to do, and will be remembered for it.

3. Loved Ones - if, after your death, you leave behind those you love to carry on your memories, your hopes, your dreams, your legacy as it were - then your death is no more tragic than a layoff in a company.

Just my 0.02$
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[User Picture]From: shinwachou
2006-04-20 01:15 pm (UTC)
I understand your 2 cents, and they're valid... however, in my case, my fear stems *not* from thinking my actions are "meaningless", nor would the thought of being remembered post-mortem erase my fears any... It's just a simple fear that I plainly won't exist anymore.

My take on the "religion erases fear of death", is that although people would no longer 'exist' on a physical level, their 'life' will very much be continued in an 'afterlife'... which, as stated before, would in no way possible steer me towards religion because personally, the very concept (of religion and all it entails) is preposterous to me.

:) I'm quite the character, aren't I.
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