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桜井香津美

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My father, plus tooth pain [Jan. 7th, 2006|08:44 pm]
桜井香津美
Yesterday, I was talking with co-workers before I left work, and although the conversation started about kids taking care of you in your old age or dying when your kids are young, it drifted to me talking about my father and his family.

So needless to say, when my mom tells me he called her today, I was shocked. I haven't seen or heard from him in 5 years, although my mom said he called once when I was 18, but nothing else aside from that.

So now he knows that he has a grandchild, and obviously I know he's still alive. He didn't sound drunk (he was/is an alcoholic), but sounded still like he wasn't quite "normal". He's very much still got this heavy "woe is me" mindset, as he kept saying stuff like "Well nobody tells me anything" when I called him tonight.

He didn't know his sister Sandra got divorced years ago, well before his brother Dave killed himself over being unemployed for over half a year. He did know the goings-on with his sister Joy, but that's it.

We thought all along he was still living in northern Florida, where his brother Dave's wife is living, but apparently he's been back in the Tampa Bay area for a few years now, at least. I guess he's living in a hotel right now, and receives money from the government, and also gets Food Stamps. He said he didn't have a job, which I was hopeful he did have one, but that's wishful thinking I guess.

He wanted to stay with my mom for a few days, so he could find a new place (he's being "kicked" out of the place he's at now, for some fighting incident?, and went to jail for it, but I said to my mom at least the jailtime wasn't for another DUI), but she's worried it would turn into something permanent, and she's very happy with where her life's at.

I was really happy to hear he's alive, and that I got to talk to him... but even so, at the same time, I feel a heaviness over me about it. I don't know when or if i'll hear from him again, since my mom isn't going to let him stay (he thinks I'll try to convince her to let him although I mentioned to him about her worries), and it hurts me so much to think he might live on the street. He gets government benefits as I mentioned, but how's he going to get them with no address? I care too much, don't I? But I can never stop caring about things.

I'm supposed to call him again tonight; I cut our previous conversation short because I was/am in agony over my teeth.

My top two left molars have been hurting off and on for weeks now. For a while, painkillers helped, but the pain is no longer responding to them. Not even to warm saltwater, or Orajel. I tried to find emergency dental care tonight, but nobody will do anything besides prescribe painkillers, and prescriptions don't work as I've used my boyfriend's Darvocets and they don't help for shit. Last night they hurt, but the Advil I took then took the edge off slightly, so I finished my work shift. But today, I couldn't bear 5 more hours of being at work dealing with the pain. I went in Wednesday, on my day off, to get some extra hours, but now that doesn't mean shit as I had to go home early today.

I'm supposed to start school on Monday, and they have a mandatory first-day attendance policy. If you don't show on the first day, it's likely you'll be dropped from the class. The pain actually brought me to tears today, and my boyfriend shows very little sympathy and isn't comforting me at all. He went out and got some filler stuff (the teeth are cracked) plus some numbing stuff...but I have yet to see it help any.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: sailormidori
2006-01-07 09:56 pm (UTC)
oh honey...*hugs*

i take it you haven't got dental coverage...i wonder if the er could possibly do anything? 'course, that would set you back mucho dinero...gah, i don't know what to do.

i don't really know what your relationship with your father is like, but i can't fault you for caring. his is, after all, half the reason you're alive. but again, i haven't any clue what you [or anyone, for that matter] could do.

all i can do is say i love you and wish you luck with everything. *hugs again*
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[User Picture]From: shinwachou
2006-01-13 10:53 am (UTC)
I ended up using a bottle of my boyfriend's unused antibiotics, which has helped immensely. I'm still making an appointment for the dentist, soon.

*hugs back* Thanks for the support.
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