||[Apr. 20th, 2004|04:56 am]
|||||Klaha - Setsubou (mini album)||]|
How can some people be so hurtful/hateful?
These two girls at work, they've got major attitude problems. And yet, people think I have a problem? What the fuck ever.
One, Ashley, I never really had problems with before... but lately, she's been real snippy with me. I think she has a major ego-problem.
The other, Tarah, is a fucking trailer-trash whore. There's a Mexican at work, who I never understand, but who I swear is saying "Do you wash your vagina?" all the time. We were mock-fighting, and then she says that, followed by "Nasty". This Tarah girl then goes "Yeah she is nasty". Now where on this fucking earth does she have any right saying that? I've never spoken to her, or did anything to her for that matter, so WHAT THE FUCK? First of all, I brush my hair, take showers, clean clothes, et cetera... and anyway, you'd think this shit would die with junior high. Apparently not. It stings me, and saddens me. I told Tarah to shut the fuck up, and she said "What are you gonna do?" I just started walking away, and she goes "That's what I thought, you're not gonna do a damn thing". I replied with "At least i'm not all talk like you".
In-between cars, working the cash booth in drive-thru, I watch the TV in the backroom. That girl turned the TV off, and I wanted to slug her (I want to slug her anyway), god she makes my blood boil. I'm not the only person to watch TV during slow periods. Then the power in the entire store went out for a couple minutes, and I proceeded to call her a sucker. Fucking bitch.
When I first started this job, I thought everyone was cool. Now i'm beginning to see problems. There's another girl, Patches, who i'm cool with... she's feeling the same way I am, beginning to really hate our job, some of the people we work with (I think she's having problems with those girls too).
And then Gilbert gets on my case about customer complaints, saying that some customers think i'm too serious, rude. What the hell? I give friendly greetings, attempt to get their order right. Sorry if i'm not Miss Mary Sunshine 24/7, sorry I don't have a Cheshire Cat shit-eating perky-happy-joyjoy grin on my face all the time. My mom said I should put up a facade, a fake smile... but she doesn't understand I can't do that. It's just not who I am, i'm not a good actress.
This woman who came through drive-thru (yesterday) night, when she came to the window, asked if I was the one who took her order. I joked and said "I should hope so", and she told me that I have a deep voice. I joked again, saying I keep telling people if I shaved my hair off that I'd look like a guy. She said it wasn't like that, but that for my age, I have a deep mature voice. She was expecting a (much) older woman. ^^;
I implied to my mom I needed her to pay my traffic ticket fine (its due by May 4), because I couldn't afford it with this or the next paycheck. She said "This is the real world, do you think i'm actually able to pay it", and I told her yes I fucking know that (about the real world), I've been part of it for 4 years now, but sorry I'm not up to par with you, sorry I don't have a nice-paying good-hours job. I'm struggling financially in the past month or two, to do things myself. I hate depending on her, but I have no other option right now.
Hsiaokwai offered to pay it, but I refused. I don't want him to. Just... no.
I'm sorry everyone, for bitching so much. I really don't like being negative, but it seems I attract drama, difficulty, and bad luck. I always have to go 20 extra miles to get something done, though, and i'm getting sick of it. I'm tired of games and bullshit. I'm willing to work hard, and have lots of ambition, but I guess it doesn't matter because nothing is supposed to ever work out for me. I'm weak, I know it, I admit it. I dunno.