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I got to see Toshi today. I'm very grateful for that. :P Considering… - 神話蝶 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
桜井香津美

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[Dec. 27th, 2003|06:48 pm]
桜井香津美
[Current Mood |tiredtired]

I got to see Toshi today. I'm very grateful for that. :P Considering I won't see him for at least another 3 weeks.

He arrived a few hours late, but he couldn't help that. At least I got to see him at all, today. Then I made him late for a shift at the Sacramento AP office. =\

Visited the San Jose Kinokuniya and Mitsuwa supermarket, plus ate at a (I bet you can't guess hahahaha j/k) Japanese restaurant. He wanted to get me some manga or books, to practice my Japanese, but I already have some that I haven't read... and I feel bad when people voluntarily offer to get me something.

I know, trivial things. But whatever.

But the good part is just coming up.

We just sat in his car for a while before we left, to bring me back home. And he goes, "I have something to tell you. You know, I haven't told you much about myself." I mentioned how i'd been noticing that, and continued with "Well...what?" I guess he thought the way I said that was cute, and wanted me to say it again, but I stuck my tongue out at him, and said no. =P

But soon, dread started creeping up upon me. I'm thinking "Oh shit..." He started out with "Well, i'm about 12 years older than you right?" I nodded in agreement, and he continues with "Well, when I was about 25, you know I began working as a newspaper reporter. Around that time, I met this Latina woman, and I was helping her to secure a visa (to work in the country). We ended up getting married. I guess it wasn't solely for that (marrying only for the visa), but we lived together for a period of time, but eventually separated. She'd stop by every now and then, so when the immigration authorities came around, they wouldn't be suspicious. She went to Italy for a while, but in fact is now in San Francisco."

"She still stops by, so again, the immigration authorities won't be suspicious. We're basically exploiting the marriage, so I can get more financial aid for school, and so she can work in America. (Note: Not that he'd do this with all marriages, though.) Between my landlord [being an asshole] and the fact my neighbours are nosy (and the marriage thing), I'd be more than happy to let you stay. I really do wish I could share an apartment with you."

I was stunned when I heard this. But I told him i'm glad he'd told me sooner than later. I also said i'm not gonna hold this against him. He's a good man. His marriage isn't what you'd call a *real, conventional* one, or the way he's exploiting the marriage, again, doesn't mean it's something he'd generally do. This isn't naivety, it's just being real and understanding, IMO.

I asked him what is he gonna do after his semester's over, considering he'll probably go to NY or FL to work for whatever newspaper. He'd said they hadn't gotten around to divorcing yet, and continued with "You know I really like you", and I just smiled. Because now I really know how he feels about me.

I owe him a raincheck for a massage. *snickers*

Anyway, I was showing him the pictures I developed again... he was looking at a picture of me between Dave and Darien (one's gay, other is bi-curious, I think) at a gothic club in Tampa, FL. (He wanted to keep this picture of me. x_x;) He then asked if I ever had boyfriends (while in Florida), and I said i've never dated anyone [before]. He was really surprised, and couldn't understand why. I told him about a guy about a year ago I was interested in, who was 21, and wouldn't date me because I was too young (though I hardly call a 3 year age difference BIG), then turned around and dated Chelsea, who's only a year older than me. He said, "Well where/what does that put/make me? *laugh*", and I replied, "That's exactly why I want to find the guys like him and laugh in their face".

So, I don't know what else to say. Maybe if I remember anything, I'll edit this.

But this was definitely an interesting night, and i'm going to miss him so much for the next 3 weeks. I just hope by some stroke of luck, I can find somewhere to live, so I can stay in California.

Oi.. I seriously need sleep.
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